btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
