I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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