I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You ever have a fart follow you around?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize