As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
