I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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