Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
