Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
