I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
