At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Naked. naked and bneed help.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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