All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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