I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
