I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
