Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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