I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You can't special order awesome
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
