i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
