I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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