I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Everyone says I win the strip club
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
