Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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