I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
