Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Is her dick bigger than yours?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
