And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
