Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
porn star boner night. come get it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
