He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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