Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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