dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize