You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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