so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
