I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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