So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
