Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The dick lei will go down in squad history
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
