I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
