its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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