and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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