Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
