i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
