ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
