i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
