im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize