Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
