i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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