i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Life is so much better after having sex.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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