You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
