well I can't set my house on fire every night
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
