My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
