I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Alive.
So much puke
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
