You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize