i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
