Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Two words: blizzard sex
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
