soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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