What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize