All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
