Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
