Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
The power of my boobs compel you
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
