she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
