pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
