i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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