Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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