please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
