I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
