the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
