He disabled his match.com account in front of me
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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