I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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