I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
